Excruciating
by eloquentlyinsane
Summary: "Jasper Hale is staring at you," Jessica hissed in her ear. AU. JxB
1. Chapter 1: First Sight

"Jasper Hale is staring at you," Jessica hissed in her ear. (AU) JxB. REVISED.

_Excruciating_

**So, I had an epiphany one day and I came to the conclusion that Bella only got with Edward because he was the single one. All of the other Cullens *love* her so if Carlisle, Emmett, or – in this case – Jasper were single they probably would have picked her up, in an alternate universe. Which is why, I've decided to write **_**Excruciating**_**, **_**Blithe**_**, and **_**Verboten**_**. But right now, please enjoy a revised version of **_**Excruciating**_**.**

**-ei**

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**Chapter 1 - First Sight**

_JPOV:_

Forks, Washington

This was the time of day when I wished I were able to sleep: high school.

Was purgatory more apropos?

If there was any way to atone for the unspeakable atrocities I had committed throughout my existence, this unbearable lull ought to count for at least a few of the homicides. I endured it – to prove that I had a human side – but the consequent seemed impossibly more tedious than the last.

"How are you holding up, Jasper?" Alice murmured quietly.

I simply grimaced.

It had been tolerable, if sitting idly with flames licking the inside of your throat could be considered _tolerable_ in any world.

I'd stopped breathing a long while ago – when I had entered the school grounds to be exact.

"You shouldn't take chances," She cajoled and as an afterthought, "We should _all_ go tonight. Edward? Emmett? Rose?" She looked to them for support.

"I'm fine," I said stiffly.

They didn't need to agree to rub it in that I was the weakest of them all. I was the second oldest, strongest, wiliest, and yet, no more self-control then a newborn.

Edward smirked in a commiserative way as he read my thoughts, but I could sense an undercurrent of frustration. He was tired of my lack of competence and my loopy self-pitying psyche was probably driving him crazy.

"You haven't slipped in nearly four years. That's something, isn't it?" Alice smiled encouragingly at me.

I frowned to myself. Their support only made me feeler weaker. It had been two weeks since our last hunt. Not comfortable for the rest of them, but they weren't in danger of massacring the lunch crowd.

Jessica Stanley was walking into the Café as if she owned the place followed by her usually cronies, Lauren and Angela. A young girl walked into the lunchroom, following the familiar covey. The new girl, Isabella Swan didn't look very comfortable in the group she had been introduced to and I couldn't blame her.

A temporary distraction.

"Oh no," Edward muttered, looking away.

"_You_ don't have anything to worry about," I said, bemused. "_I'm_ single."

"I can still hear her!" He complained. "It's nauseating – I don't want to undress _you_ in my head."

As we continued to watch Jessica and her petty crew, another girl paused at the end of our table to exchange word with a friend. She drew a hand through her jaw-length hair and shook it out, exposing her throat.

My fingers gripped the table and I gave a lurch that made the wood shudder all the way to the end.

Emmett put a hand on my shoulder that was both comforting and restraining. I stared at the human for few seconds more and stood up to throw away my tray.

"Look at her," Alice was saying when I returned, trying to hide my faux pas. Everyone turned to watch Isabella. "She could pass for one of us. She's so very pale."

At that moment, Isabella stood and threw her tray away. On the way back to her seat, she tripped over...nothing? She managed to avoid a fall by catching Mike Newton's shoulder to stop her flight to the ground. She turned an impressive red and settled into her seat.

Mike looked delighted and promptly started a conversation with her.

Jessica turned puce.

Our entire table erupted into various volumes of laughter. Amid the mirth, I sensed uneasiness in my family. I turned to Edward; he hadn't laughed. Instead he was staring intently at the girl with an odd look on his face.

He looked at me, trying to smooth his frustration. "I can't read her mind."

The table went quiet.

"What?" Rosalie said testily. "What did you say?"

"I-I can't read her mind," he repeated, too unnerved to answer Rose with their familiar petulance.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. It's silent."

"Maybe she's slow," Emmett said, grinning from ear to ear. "Edward ousted by a single-digit IQ!"

Alice didn't look concerned. "It's probably nothing. She's new here so you obviously can't tell which voice is hers. We'll work it out later. It will get easier."

As she said this, the bell rang and we all rose to head to class. We didn't tell each other goodbyes anymore when we separated; after all what was an hour and a half to eternity?

"Take care of yourself, Jasper," Alice put a hand on my arm. As Edward turned to go, she flashed me a sympathetic smile and left with her husband. It made me want to kill her.

Edward ignored me. He was used to my ire at my family.

Emmett watched them leave and then leaned toward me conspiratorially. "How about another wrestling match? Yesterday's wasn't fair."

"Only because you lost," I taunted him.

"Best of three – you got lucky."

We made arrangements and followed in Alice and Edward's suit and went to class. Walking toward the exit, I passed Isabella's table again. Her friends met my gaze with their usual lust. Off her, I could sense only anxiety.

As I passed, she looked up at me, nudged by Jessica. Her brown eyes met my steely gold ones and her entire face went up in flames of crimson. I doubled my pace, afraid of what such an easy pooling of blood could do to my friable control.

"Who is _that_?" I heard her ask her new friends.

"Jasper Hale. He's gorgeous of course, but don't waste your time, Bella. None of the girls here are good-looking enough for him apparently."

I hid a smile.

–&–

"Gather up!" Coach Clapp shouted over the mull of humans. A group of thirty or so grouped round him. I stayed leaning against the folded bleachers, keeping a safe distance. When it was quiet, he began to shout, "Today we are playing volleyball! Since we have used the last week to practice skills, today we are playing a _real_ game against the other class!" A half-hearted cheer rose into the air from my classmates. "That's the spirit! Now I don't want to see any shifting and switching turns when you're up to serve."

We separated into teams and I started off serving, an obvious first choice. I allowed myself three points before making a conspicuous miscalculation and rotating. Mike Newton, glaring fiercely at me, snatched the ball away at his turn.

We were winning, obviously when –

"Isabella!" Coach Clapp's voice boomed easily across the gym. Everyone turned to watch her traipse to the middle of the gym where Clapp was waiting.

"I got lost. Sorry," She apologized shyly. "It's my first day; I need you to sign this slip." I heard her demur shyly.

He signed it quickly and "Here you go. Well, since you didn't bring any clothes, you can sit out today. We're playing volleyball," he explained unnecessarily as she was watching the ball warily. Isabella –"

"Bella, please." Her plea went unnoticed.

"– You can just grab a seat behind the game." She sighed, relieved and walked past our formation and took a seat a few yards behind me as I approached the serving corner again.

I spared her a dispassionate glance before taking the ball from Connor, a sandy-haired boy who had just served right into the net. At the climatic point of my serve, her scent hit me, like a battering ram.

I doubled over, and then thinking wildly, began to cough, to cover up my surprise. I dropped the ball and hacked with all my might. The children around me edged away from me. The venom was rising in my throat and a single drop fell from the point of a tooth and to the floor, hissing quietly against the wooden parquetry.

In that moment, all my instincts had fled, in a rush of adrenaline to the brain. Her scent was...irresistible. Sweet and flowery, yet seductive and intoxicating. The decade of careful practice dissolved as I turned toward her, hands inexorably rising to clutch her throat.

Her eyes met mine they reflected my face: villainous and terrifying in her innocent and naïve doe-like eyes.

I stopped.

If I attacked now, the witnesses would have to be disposed of. Of course, the scent would attract the others and they might aid me in – No! My mouth went rigid with want and I cut off my air again. This child, this menial girl would not make me the villain. I would not resume killing.

But to turn away!

Her blood seemed to taunt me, waving in front of me the tantalizing substance from which I could not abstain but yet could not indulge. My eyes rolled back my head and all I could think of was her. In the absence of the air, her fragrance made my head hazy and I could not think properly.

Would anyone notice if I hailed her after class? If I separated her from the crowd and took her off to some secluded corner to? They would – I wasn't the only one to be so aware of Bella today, though none were so intensely aware as I. The male population, most of all Newton, Eric, Tyler, and others that I'd watched her shoot down today were determined to gain her affections and would not take it lightly that I had stolen her away.

The predacious nature that I so determinedly put aside rose to the surface. In my _other time_ I had killed many innocents: men, women, children even. I had been unrestrained by morals. But even at my worst, I had never committed an atrocity of this potential magnitude. To return to that would be to reveal my family. A massacre of this size could be kept quiet. The Volturi would hear and act.

My family.

Their faces slipped into my mind and shut out Isabella. Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and Alice. They had all longed to make a normal life in this quiet town.

"Coach Clapp." He turned away from the game he was monitoring and gave a little jump when he saw my eyes which had turned a deadly shade of black. "I think I might be ill. Would you excuse me to go to the nurse?" He simply nodded, speechless. I turned and hurried out of the gym.

Alice was waiting outside. "Jasper," She took my hand. "Are you alright? You didn't _kill_…_did_ _you_?" She asked uncertainly. I shook my head. Her face cleared and she looked a little chagrinned. "That's wonderful! That's amazing! I'm mean, of course not. You're not –"

She pulled my arm as she spoke, dragging me to the entrance where Edward was waiting in his Volvo. She made calls to Carlisle who was at the hospital. When we arrived home, Esme was waiting for us at the door.

"Alice! Jasper! Did you – did he...?"

"I didn't."

She looked shocked and then struggled to compose herself. "Why, Jasper, that's...phenomenal. What an improvement! How-."

"Surprising," offered Emmett who had arrived seconds earlier with Rosalie.

"No," Esme said unblushingly. "I knew he could do it. He's so strong."

When Carlisle arrived he too, congratulated me in the same manner: incredulousness, disbelief, then shock, astonishment – it was rather insulting and narrow-minded of my family to react this way although I hadn't exactly given them cause not to.

"So what exactly happened?" He asked.

"I think we'd all like to know exactly what did," Said Esme. "Go on, Jasper." She gloated, like the proud mother she was.

I glared at the floor; this wouldn't be happening of it was Edward or Alice or Esme or Rose. Only I – sometimes Emmet – was praised when I _didn't_ kill people. To the others, it was simply habit.

"Isabella came into the gym," I said in a monotone. "She came and sat down behind me. And at first there wasn't anything different. But when she began to move, I could smell her…" I groaned, the memories awash in my head. "It was...unlike anything I'd ever even conceived. I wanted to snap her neck and drink her blood and suck her dry in that moment."

Even without her presence, I could recall the scent with perfect clarity, a fault with our species, perfect, ineradicable memory.

Silence.

"But…" prompted Alice with a smile.

"I didn't. When I looked at her, she...was a child. An insignificant girl. I thought of you all and I left."

Esme wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so proud of you, Jasper," Esme whispered, adding insult to injury.

Carlisle was looking at me with admiration. "I know what happened, Jasper. She is probably your singer. _La tua contante._ Her blood calls you. Not many have withstood their singers."

Emmett cleared his throat uncomfortably. He had killed his instantaneously.

"That's all well and done but what do we do now?" Demanded Rose. "He may have tossed out a miracle now. But what about tomorrow? Friday? Next week? The rest of the year?"

"That is potentially problematic," sighed Carlisle.

"_Potentially problematic_," she repeated saucily. "Wonderful."

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**Review.**


	2. Chapter 2: Close Call

Previously on _Excruciating_:

_"Who is that?"  
__"Jasper Hale. He's gorgeous of course, but don't waste your time, Bella. None of the girls here are good-looking enough for him apparently."_

**Kisses to all my loyal readers – you give me the courage to post the next chapter, and the next, and the next, and the…etc. Love it? Hate it? Vent via a review. That button at the bottom looks beautiful, doesn't it?**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

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**Chapter 2 – Close Call**

_JPOV:_

Forks, Washington

It had snowed during the night and all of the humans were taking extra precautions with their driving, which meant the line into the student parking lot was slower than usual.

"Winter formal," Alice read the posters plastered all over the front entrance with interest as we drove slowly by.

"You want to go?" Edward asked dubiously.

"We're going," She said with finality.

Rose glared at her. "But it's so tacky."

"I see us there," Alice shrugged.

We seeped luxuriously out of Emmett's Jeep, taking care to look gloriously windswept. Alice and Rosalie loved making an entrance and for whatever reasons, we indulged them, if for nothing else, to spice up our monotonous existences.

"Is it going to snow later?" Emmett asked Alice.

She frowned at him. "I am _not_ telling you, Emmett! You just want to make us go out and whip snow everywhere and I refuse to subject myself to that again."

But Emmett complained and whinged throughout the whole of Differential Equations until Alice finally snapped and told him it was going to snow again during lunch.

"Why did you wait until now to tell him?" I asked her in a irritably.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," she huffed, "but then he just got annoying."

At lunch, we slipped out of the school through a back entrance and made quick tracks to the football field where the snow was still virginal white and undisturbed. It was coming down thickly and covered us in a few minutes.

We divvyed ourselves up: Rose and I against Emmett, Alice, and Edward. At first, there was no cover so we could only dodge and pelt each other until Rose went to work building a fort and we threw ourselves behind it.

It was easy enough to hit Emmett, huge as he was, but Alice with her foresight knew where all the snowballs were headed and Edward's speed made them an invincible duo.

"Jasper!" Rose hissed. "We're getting pulverized. Do something!"

I glanced around desperately, as my brain kicked into martial mode. _Separate your enemies and debilitate them. _I grinned as Rose just as Alice howled, "Nooooo! Jasper, I'm going to kill you!"

Edward and Emmett froze, eying me. I took a breath and focused all my attention on the three of them. In an instant Edward realized – he and Alice began to come at me, arms full of snow. I sent out a thoroughly halting wave of lethargy at the group and with a thud, they landed in the snow.

"No…fair…" Emmett whined as he struggled to pick up his arm.

Rose danced out from behind our fort and pelted them with snow.

Alice gave a little scream of outrage.

"How close do you have to be to maintain this?" Rose asked with a sneaky smile.

"Several meters suffice…why?"

Edward growled.

"Run!" Rose screamed, grabbing my hand and dashing off to the school.

A few seconds later, the rest of my sibling came unstuck and came charging after us, Emmett dislodging hills of snow as he ran. Despite Edward's speed, the ground to the school wasn't enough for him to gain on us.

We slipped into the cafeteria, ignoring the stares of the students as they drooled over our perfection and sat down at our regular table. Emmett was laughing as he came in, indicating we were forgiven for our stunt although Alice was a little riled as she shook the snow out of her hair. To goad her, I leaned toward and shook my own snow-saturated head, causing water and snow to drip on her.

"Stop!" She protested, looking to her husband for help futilely – he was laughing as Emmett tried to put his head in Rosalie's lap. "Ralph Lauren is rolling in his grave," Alice muttered, glaring mutinously at me as she surveyed her soaked shirt.

I ran my hands through my disheveled wet hair, aware of the sheer number of human females watching my every move. I wished I could take advantage of it, but there were rules – Carlisle's rules, not mine – so now I was simply bored by their attention.

"Alice," Edward began. "I bet –"

"Save it, darling," she said airily. "I'm going to win."

"Bet?"

"Fine. Any backers?" She smirked.

Edward glanced to Emmett and me for support.

I held up my hands. "I don't bet against Alice."

But Emmett bumped his fist against Edward's. "You're on, pixie. I'll run with the underdog."

Edward pulled a face.

When the bell rang, we took advantage of the commotion to slip out again, unnoticed, this time to the lacrosse field. We kept going until the last hour and joined the swell of students surging to their cars.

"Oh my," Alice gasped.

Instantly, our conversations stopped and we followed the plane of her accusatory finger to a figure in the distance.

"That is the _ugliest_ excuse for a motor vehicle I have even seen," Rose spat.

It was car accident: we couldn't look away, but simply kept staring at the sorry excuse for metal on wheels. The new girl, Isabella, was making a beeline for the truck, sneaking surreptitious glances around as if wondering if anybody was associating her with this wheeled abomination.

"Figures. New girl wants to make a statement," Emmett snickered.

"What's _her_ logo? Trucker trash?" Rose quipped. "Let's go, please, I can't even look it anymore."

I could smell her even over the rise of car fumes and she still smelled divine, but I shook my head and followed my siblings to the Volvo. My special siblings were keeping careful tabs on Isabella and her relation to me, Edward only to be frustrated by still not being able to penetrate her thoughts while Alice was constantly assuring me there would be no bloodshed.

So I allowed myself to persevere, but not without taking precautions: I had managed to switch out of the class I shared with her. My exposure to her was limited to the corridors and lunch.

She was safe.

I was safe.

My family was safe.

Soon she would become just another addition to humans-Jasper-almost-killed list. The list was quite list and exclusive by no means. I decided Carlisle was wrong regarding the whole _la tua cantante_ business and put it behind me.

There was a screeching sound.

I spun around.

There was a blue van skidding across the lane into a row of parked cars.

Anyone of us could have stopped it with a hand, but we weren't being paid to play Superman.

I watched the trajectory of the van and realized it would crash into the awful red truck. Smugly, I was glad it wouldn't mar my sight for much longer, until I saw Isabella trapped between the two vehicles, simply watching, helpless to stop her impending demise.

And I could only think, _blood…split…wasted. _If I couldn't have it, no one could, dammit.

I peeled away from my family and raced toward her. I caught her in my arms and threw her to the ground beside her truck, away from the oncoming vehicle. Her head bounced against the pavement, but her eyes were wide, taking me in.

I cursed, too aware that she had seen _everything, _and tried not to breathe, tried not the feel the blood thudding in her veins under my hand.

Desire bloomed in me.

I licked my lips.

There was yelling as people tried to get to us around the mashed trucks. We were, to put it colloquially, busted. _Well, if we've been outted, I might as well do it thoroughly_ – _No! Maybe she has a concussion? _Who was I kidding, she was entirely conscious and sound.

I bared my teeth – _so good, how did the others stand this? _As if the urge to kill her wasn't enough, with my legs 'trapped' under the truck, I couldn't move.

I was lying uncomfortably in top of her, staring into her face, hands on her hips, wrapped around her body. She blinked and glanced down at herself. I followed her gaze and realized one hand was firmly gripping her derriere while the other was slightly squeezing her breast.

I caught a faint tendril of lust emanate from her. Desire, but not the base, hungry, bloody desire that consumed me. Hers was a more human, hormone-driven emotion…s_he was attracted to me_, I realized_. _I almost laughed and then I thought…but it was just a mite. She was far too intrigued by the inhumanness of me to given her baser instincts a chance. _But if I could distract her…_

She blushed and tensed, shifting her body underneath mine, rubbing her body against mine. Her eyes widened in shock as she felt me let my body react as I took in her body's desire and made it my own. In fact, she couldn't have missed it any less the pulsing between her legs if I had put it actually between her legs.

There was a grinding noise as Emmett, Coach Clapp, and several other male teachers lifted the smashed vehicles away.

Emmett pulled me up and hurried me away. Edward was beside the nurse, finally making use of his two medical degrees to sabotage any ideas Isabella might have concocted. "She probably has a concussion," he suggested to the nurse.

Isabella stamped her foot indignantly and swayed.

I watched from a safe distance as they loaded her into an ambulance and drove away. The rest of my family packed into the Volvo and followed.

As I replayed the scene again and again in my head over and over, the feelings of humiliation grew. By tomorrow, the whole of Forks would be laughing that the cold, detached Jasper Hale was undone by a plain girl. _It better have been worth it._

While the other humans were distracted by the ambulance, I made a run for it, disappearing through the thick foliage of the woods near the school.

Esme was at home when I reached, folding laundry upstairs. As I walked through the door, she finished in a trice and came down to greet me. "Why are you home so early?" She asked curiously.

I frowned. "You'll know soon enough."

She sensed my unhappiness and let it go. Had I killed Isabella and the others in the vicinity, she would have forgiven me without a second thought. She _was _my mother, or as good as.

While she wasn't my mother in the biological sense, I bonded to her the most. We talked – that is, I complained about my lack of a self-restraint and she comforted me. I couldn't help it, she was kind and affectionate. Not to mention, she was the next in line with the highest count of homicides, which endeared me to her.

When the others finally arrived, they looked almost as bad as I felt.

We congregated in the dining room. Before anyone spoke, we all glanced around at each other, trying to read everything in everyone's countenance, wondering how bad it was, how much worse it would get – Esme, completely bewildered.

Carlisle was the last to arrive, removing his doctor's coat as he came in. "Well, first, I suppose congratulations are in order," he said with a weary smile. "Jasper, you've done beyond what we could have hoped."

"What's going on?" Esme asked, with a touch of impatience.

"He resisted his singer yet again."

"I don't need your congratulations," I told them sourly. "I know I am weak. There is no need to highlight that. In case you forgot, this _has_ happened before and I know exactly what must be done. But what does she know, what does she suspect?"

Edward, Alice, and Carlisle exchanged sidelong glances.

"What exactly happened to you, Jasper?" Alice said in a carefully controlled voice. "Why don't you tell us that?"

"I had to stop the van! If she had spilled blood – we may have had to kill the entire school to keep it quiet. I had to act."

"And then…?" Edward prompted.

_They knew._

"She saw everything," I said blandly. "She saw me push the van, she saw me pick it up. She even saw me want her – she could tell that I was…different – my eyes probably changed as well…"

Carlisle was watching the ceiling carefully, as though his life depended on memorizing the arrangement of the cracks. He knew, definitely. I was sure of it now.

"I had to distract her." My voice was urgent now, pleading for them to understand why I had chosen such a rash, bald way of capturing her attention. "She finds me attractive I realized."

Rosalie and Esme were still confused. Although Emmett was slowly understanding. I could tell because the perplexed look on his face was slowly changing to a wide grin. "You didn't, you pimp you!" He shouted, giddy.

"Try again."

"You tried to distract her to trying to get her to mack with you?" Esme asked. "Isn't that a little suspicious and not very subtle."

"No! Sort of the reverse."

"You kissed her?" Rosalie asked. "Superhero complex much?"

"No…" I said cautiously, eyeing Edward. "Not exactly."

In an instant, Edward and Carlisle recoiled just as Emmett leaned forward and held his palm open for me to slap. "You dog." Edward rolled his eyes as Carlisle fought to keep a straight face. Rosalie merely sneered and Esme tried to find an appropriately chagrinned expression whilst Alice giggled.

"Well that explains why she refused to talk about it." Edward explained. "This is does give us an edge. I think it's safe to say she's not focusing on your hulk Hogan strength, although the trade-off." He snickered. "For the first time, I can't wait for school tomorrow."

"What's she thinking?" I asked, just to aggravate him.

"I don't know!" Edward shot back.

"Once again, Edward proves to be a waste of space," Rosalie said, sounding bored of this incident already.

"Watch it, Rose," Edward snarled. "Or your _M3_ is end up like Isabella's pathetic truck." Roses leapt up, growling. "I don't see you helping out."

"I keep him from acting five," she jerked a thumb at Emmett. "And I stop you from doing stupid things, like opening your mouth," she shot back. "There's work enough."

"Give it a rest, you blond bimbo."

"Watch it, Edward!" Emmett was on his feet now.

I calmed them down when Carlisle shot me a look. They took the seats again, looking mildly annoyed.

"So the plan for tomorrow?" Esme prompted.

We glanced at Alice.

She shrugged. "Cloudy – a few things have to fall into place before anything happens. But it seems safe."

"Safe for us or safe for _me_?"

The others chuckled.

"For us," Alice answered cheekily.

"Let the battle of the species unfold!" Emmett whooped. "C'mon Jasper. Let's go out. Play it safe tomorrow." I followed him and we broke into a run as we left the house. "I don't get this," he complained lightly. "You save the day by getting aroused."

"It's surprising, this is _your_ M.O." Edward jibed.

Emmett sighed, wistfully, "Ah, to be a working stiff."

"Good one. And forget about it already," Edward advised me. "Who knows, maybe she'll even take you up on your job?"

"I am _not_ going hunting with you if you two keep harping on about this. It's humiliating enough."

"Fine. I'm done." Emmett leered at me but was generally serious. "I think you can handle her, kid. If you could control yourself then, why not now?"

"You don't realize how close I was the last two times, Emmett."

"That's exactly what I'm saying,…if catching you unawares doesn't send you off the cliff, then _nothing_ will."

"Except open blood."

"It's a _school_, not a blood bank."

"You'd think."

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